12/16/10 AM

The sleeper is feeling festive today. Merry Christmas, Metro Transit riders!

12/15/10 AM

Rider Profile: The "outside seat passenger." These are passengers that board the bus, place all of their items on the inside seat (closest to the window) and sit on the outside seat, closest to the aisle. The more brave ones refuse to budge when the bus fills up, forcing people to stand when it's not at all necessary. My note to these people: You're being rude. Scoot your ass over. If you can't deal with people sitting next to you, then riding the bus is not the mode of transportation for you.

12/9/10 PM

Take the very last bus out of downtown so that I can enjoy a happy hour with some co-workers. While waiting at the stop, see one of the 'new' coach Maple Grove busses. Must be nice...

Get on the 5:44 Northbound. Settle in my seat. Watch the other passengers as they get on the bus. Pretty sure I see the Ghost of Christmas Future get on my bus.

12/7/10 PM

As I mentioned this morning - new picks this week. I get on the 4:22 departing 854C - and low and behold, it's The Whistler. The Whistler is a rotating sub for the MJ Ruter garage, which services the Maple Grove (780's), Brooklyn Park (760's) and Blaine (850's) routes.

As I get on the bus, The Whistler gives me a smiling greeting of "Good Afternoon" (as he says to other boarding passengers). However, for me he also adds "Nice to see you again" as he recognizes me. As Doreen and I walk up the aisle of the bus to get off at our stop, The Whistler toots a little tune while watching us in the rearview mirror.

12/7/10 AM

My friend, the sleeper, is back. And its a lovely very slow ride the AM. New driver picks this week. Expecting at least one wrong turn.

11/17/10 PM

Note to self: do not watch kid play Star Wars Jedi computer game in seat in front of me on bus. Nauseousness ensues.

11/23/10 AM

We've got a sleeper. Considering we are on the space-stupid bus design today, my feeling is he won't be that way long.

11/30/10 PM

Long. Snowy. Ride. Home. Gonna be a long Winter.

12/2/10 AM

Pretty sure this particular bus hasn't been cleaned inside since 1996.

12/3/10 AM

Ahhhh. Nothing wakes you up like the smell of stale beer in the morning. Bus #871 needs a cleaning worse than yesterday's ride.

12/3/10 PM

It is the icky winter storm commute days like today that I am glad I ride the bus. Departure time: 4:22. Arrival time: 5:48. (35 minutes late). But I'll take the lateness over driving anyday.

11/30/10 AM

4 bag lady (see previous post) gets on the bus at Northtown. Sits in her normal spot - final side-facing seats at the very back of the bus. This time, she's only sporting 3 bags for her ride into downtown. Still ponder the need for 3 bags for a one day commute.

12/1/10 AM

Pass 2 accidents in Blaine - 1 being a pileup. I'm not even to Northtown yet.

12/1/10 PM

Walk with Dave to the Maple Grove stop. He rides Bonny's 5:03 departing 781A frequently. As he boards, I have a quick chat with the always-smiling Bonny.

Catch the 5:08 departing 854C. At the next stop downtown - a familiar face boards - Polly. I haven't seen her in several months and was worried about her, knowing the health issues that she deals with. We make eye contact and smile at each other. At Northtown, I move closer so that we can chat. She tells me that she was out with pneumonia (which is more serious when on top of the COPD that she deals with). She just started back at work last week. It was great to see her again and catch up. As I got off the bus, I told her to take care of herself. She responded with, "Oh, I do, sweetie."

11/12/10 AM

First time on the 854 in nearly 3 weeks. Frequent rider Doreen welcomed me back at the bus stop. Even though it's a regular driver, driver proceeds to miss the turn at 105th and continues straight. Riders (all regulars) all turn to look at each other, knowing the mistake. Driver realizes the mistake when reaching the stop sign on Jefferson. Turns around in the Madison Elementary parking lot to get us back on course. Apparently it was a long week for said driver.

11/2/10 AM

Temporary routine has me driving to the outskirts of downtown, parking in an inexpensive ramp and taking a short bus to/from work. Typically, it's the 260 that I catch in. Today, the driver is obsessed with his horn - uses it when passing another bus, when approaching a stop, when leaving a stop, when merging. Doesn't seem to be a rhyme or reason. Is it a power trip or just a horn fetish?

10/13/10 PM

Waiting for the 854C and an articulated 854N (only to the Northtown Hub) arrives. Knowing there will be a lot of space on there and that I'll have my own seat, I get on. I can catch the C at Northtown.

On University, the bus driver encounters a driver in front of him that slams on his brakes (too late) to stop at a stoplight. Bus driver pumps his brakes lightly and decides instead to quickly divert around the (now stopped) driver using the right turn lane and pass him, going straight through a red light. Wow.

10/6/10 PM

I get on the early departing 854C Northbound. As I enter through the rear door, Doreen is smiling and beckoning for me to come sit in the seat behind her. As I sit down, she says, "I was hoping you were going to be on this bus." She smiles, continuing, "This morning (ARLF) missed the bus." Quick background: we recently had a pick change. Every 8-14 weeks, Metro Transit allows drivers to choose different route assignments. Drivers choose routes that are available based on seniority. With new drivers on a route, you encounter new driving methods, new driver personalities, and a fresh way of running the route. Well, apparently, the new 6:32 morning driver was not having anything to do with waiting for ARLF to cross the street at the last minute. "As (the husband) ran across the street, the driver kept on going. He stood there, stunned" as Doreen got on the bus two stops later. In the end, they had to drive to the next nearest 'park and ride', which was the Northtown Hub. Classic!

Later, as we exit 694 onto University. My seat is right across the aisle from the back door. While we're waiting for the light (more than 1/2 way up the off-ramp), the driver opens up the back door. Several bus patrons look out, then up at the driver, then back at the door. Um, yeah - what's the deal? The driver adjusted his rear-view mirror and after about 15 seconds, closed the door. The light turned green and we were off. The funny thing is? We don't pay until we get OFF the bus, so he wouldn't be using the back door for the route anyway. Puzzled...

9/29/10 PM

Driver pulls to the stop with 782 displaying on the articulated bus. Thank God I recognize the driver as the typical 854 driver and get on. That could have been a 1/2 hour mistake.

9/28/10 AM

Rider Profile: Always-running-late family. (We'll call them ARLF for short.) ARLF, consisting of a husband, wife and teenage child, parks in the lot next to the watertower and boards the 6:32 Southbound 854 at the bus stop across the street from the lot. To date, I have never seen the family ever standing, waiting at the stop for the bus. ARLF stays in the car until the bus is moving toward their stop, at which time the husband proceeds to run across the street (in front of the bus, mind you) to hold the bus until the wife and teenager stroll (VERY SLOWLY) across the street to the waiting bus. This adds on a couple minutes to our route. Every day. Typically Doreen and I just shake our heads as the phenomenon happens.

The husband and wife always sit together and the teenage boy sits typically a few rows away, alone. The weirdest thing: I have never seen ARLF have a conversation with each other. Not boarding the bus, not on the bus, not disembarking the bus. I have never seen a word spoken. They're a very odd family.

9/25/10 AM

Speedy Gonzalez enters downtown and as we cross 1st Avenue, there are all busses in the right lane. So that he isn't caught in the intersection at the red light, Speedy proceeds in the lane just to the left of the bus lane. As he drives, he has his blinker on, but no other busses let him in - they're all stopped. Once we get close to Hennepin, stuck behind other cars at the red light, he opens the doors. Mind you, we're in the middle lane and anyone getting off at Hennepin (which is usually at least 20% of the bus) has to get off and walk in the middle of the road and in front/back of the other busses to get to the curbside. Brilliant, dood. Brilliant.

9/24/10 AM

I get onto the bus and say 'Good Morning' to Speedy. Speedy replies with a grunt. Poetic.

9/16/10 PM

At the intersection of University and Mississippi, looked down into the car next to me. In the cup holder between the seats was a Fosters beer can. Um...

9/16/10 AM

And I shall call him...Speedy Gonzalez. The new driver on the final Southbound AM departing 854C is a tad frightening. Let's just say we don't have any issues getting to Northtown on time. I'm not sure I want to look at his speedometer when he's on University Ave. I haven't seen him do a full stop at a stop sign...yet. Downtown, he pulls away from the first stop (Hennepin) and nearly takes out 3 cars in the lane next to him.

9/15/10 AM

It never ceases to amaze me at the amount of crap people bring downtown for one day of work. 4 bags seems a little excessive. And taking up 3 seats doesn't help other bus patrons either.

9/10/10 AM

Rider Profile: Wired-Hands-Free-Cell Lady. She regularly rides the final Southbound AM departing 854C. She gets on the bus at Northtown, always sitting in a sideway-facing seat. As soon as WHFCL is settled, she gets out her cell phone with attached wired hands-free microphone. She then proceeds to hold the microphone portion of the cord about a 1/2 inch away from her mouth. WHFCL whispers into the mic for the entire ride into downtown, eyeing all passengers sitting around her as she speaks. There hasn't been a day where I haven't seen her on her phone.

9/9/09 AM

My last day with the EF 6:32 departing driver. "Well, look who's here today!" New driver picks start on Monday.

9/1/10 PM

Pretty sure that at every chance he gets, the driver is watching me "illegally" eat my small bag of potato chips near the back of the bus. Either that, or he's just very attentive to the activities of the passengers.

9/1/10 AM

New (or temporary) bus driver on the last departing Southbound 854C. Also notice that it's no longer an articulated bus. I blame the Minnesota State Fair. 9 people standing after the last stop before heading to downtown.

8/24/10 PM

Enjoy a beautiful sunny afternoon ride home over the Hennepin Avenue Bridge on our detour up University as the 694/94 ramp is STILL closed for construction. Take a picture of the "famous" Grain Belt beer sign as we go past.

8/19/10 AM

Took the Nordeast tour down University this morning. Ramp from 694 to 94 still closed. Adds on time to an already hour-long commute.

8/17/10 AM

After waving to her on Sunday as she drove past my house, I officially introduce myself to Doreen, who gets on at 6:32 each morning. We've talked to each other for months when I take that particular departure and I never knew her name. As we get on, I realize that either 1) the new pick has begun or 2) EF driver must be on vacation.

8/12/10 AM

Watched the EF (Excessively friendly) 6:32 driver take the authorized shoulder well past the authorized zone to bypass construction traffic backups and was secretly happy.

8/11/10 AM

Encounter a partially hidden Minneapolis skyline on my ride in. Low clouds, fog, humidity. Welcome to Minnesota in August.

8/5/10 AM

The 854 6:32 departure bus driver seems to really "like" me. He doesn't go into as much of a fuss with the other woman who gets on with me.

7/8/10 AM

I really hate the layout of these particular buses. My prediction is that we will have people standing by Mississippi Street.

7/2/10 PM

Started off my holiday weekend with a surprise ex-854 rider...Kinda-Annoying Tony. Oy. At least he got off at Northtown...

7/2/10 AM

Apparently the bus driver was half-asleep this morning, taking the non-carpool on-ramp to get onto 694. At least it is a holiday weekend and we didn't have to wait for the commuter car traffic. According to Bus-Driver Bonny: It is "...a Metro Transit REQUIREMENT to ALWAYS use the carpool lane, referred to as 'the diamond lane'".

6/18/10 PM

Take the early 854C home so that I can get on the road to WI early. Get derailed talking to Pete outside after arriving home on the bus - long enough to have the following 854C go past the house. The Whistler proceeds to beep at me as he drives past.

6/16/10 PM

The Whistler is subbing all week on the 4:52 departing 854C. He's always fun to talk to.

6/9/10 AM

Apparently everyone stayed in bed on this very rainy day. Empty articulated 854.

6/7/10 AM

854 regular Polly made rhubarb cake (still warm!) for the North end 854 patrons this morning. The bus driver proposed to her. I love my route.

5/28/10 PM

Had the smart idea of leaving work in the early afternoon on the Friday before Memorial Day. So did everyone else. Caught the 250 so that I could avoid the 10 or 25 local busses to go to my parking ramp across the river. Got to the bus stop and was about the 26th person in line waiting for the bus. As the bus arrives, a short one - not an articulated, we notice that there are only about 6 empty seats. Time to stand. Too bad there are 3-4 more stops before getting out of downtown. All of us are packed in, standing, like sardines. And I'm thinking - crap, I have to get off just North of downtown. The rest of these people are going to the 'burbs. I approach my stop and ring the bell. I'm close enough to the back door that when we stop, I yell up to the driver, "I'll come up to the front to pay once I'm outside." I pull my badge using the retractable cord and pay my fare. About a 1/2 block away, the bus approaches me from behind and beeps at me. Someone tells me out the window. Apparently, I dropped my badge when I paid, and a gentleman picked it up. Sure enough, I look behind me, and there's a guy walking towards me, with my badge that had broken off my retractable cord. I thank him profusely. How embarassing.

5/5/10 AM

Notice that bus turns off at the stop before me, a couple blocks down. Don't think anything more about it until the bus kills at the stop sign after I get on. And again at a stop where a passenger with a bike gets on only a few blocks further. At this point, several of us passengers look around at each other and wonder what the deal is. Bus runs smoothly until we get just past 94th circle and pick up a passenger. At this point, the bus kills, and the driver gets it started, but can't get it moving. The back door light is on, and a passenger gets up to open the door so that it will close again, hoping it will 'unstick' the bus. Frantic driver continues to press buttons, turning on and off the lights, opening the front door, etc. Eventually, after about 3-4 minutes, he gets the bus moving. New driver? Shitty bus? All of the above? We'll never know...

4/30/10 AM

AGAIN, "you sure smell good" gets on the bus. Again, safe.

4/28/10 AM

"You sure smell good" just got on the bus. He's a few rows up, so I'm safe.

4/26/10 PM

Ha-ha moment...Porche Carrera pulled over for using the bus lane downtown to go faster. Do not pass go, do not collect $200.

4/21/10 PM

Asks that if you are riding the bus, pull the bell, and proceed to the front...that you have your bus pass available and ready to go. Digging through monster purse for said item for 30+ seconds is unacceptable. Ridiculous.

3/9/10 AM

I'm lucky enough to share this morning's 854 with Emergency Exit Kamikaze Guy. No idiotic movements...yet.

3/2/10 AM

Was I riding the 10 today? Nope, the regular 854 Southbound...but it sure felt like it for awhile. While sitting in the back of the articulated bus, I felt a poke on my shoulder. I turned around and the guy behind me said, "You smell really good." I politely said thank you, and he proceeded to ask me what it could be. My shampoo? My conditioner? Or just me? I smiled and turned back around. He then went into a discussion (with me, but it was more like just with himself) about how he forgot his bus pass this morning and had only 2 dollars on him and was a dollar short for the fare and the nice lady up front helped him out...now he won't have his money for Taco Bell for lunch today...yesterday he had a Whopper Jr. at BK, ever have one of those? Sheeeeit, they're good...Wanna see my baby girl? (Flips open his phone) She was born on February 12th...I work at Greyhound. I load luggage and shit. Since I wasn't giving him a lot of mutual conversation, he then asked the back of the bus, in general, 'Ya'll goin' to work'? Hennepin Avenue can't come soon enough. He asks us all to have a good day and even shakes the hand of the lady in front of me. 'You goin' to work? I work at Greyhound.' ...Sheeeeeit.

2/22/10 AM

I'm the first one on the Trip 2 854C Southbound this morning. Your Captain, My Captain (captain hat wearing driver with lots of various pins/bling on it) lowers the bus for me. At 69th Ave, we encounter the Trip 1 854C Southbound. A car rear-ended it and it was waiting for authorities. Everyone (mostly) files off it, an artic bus, and onto our extremely seating-challenged bus. Standing room only, body-to-body, all the way into downtown Minneapolis.

2/19/10 AM

Kamikaze emergency window release dude is on the 854 again this morning. Should be an interesting ride...

2/9/10 AM

Welcomed back the regular 854 driver this AM. Yesterday's kamikaze sub is putting the fear into riders hearts on another route this morning.

2/5/10 AM

Interesting new rider this morning. Pass him as I'm getting on the bus, sit two seats behind him. After a couple stops pass by, Jackhole decides to use the emergency exit window release as his leverage on staying in his seat for turns. Um, yeah...get your freakin' hand off the emergency exit. If you feel like yer gonna fall off the seat into the aisle, then move in. Further down the road, he puts his legs up on the seat across the aisle from him. When we get to Northtown, he's actually ANNOYED when people want to pass him to take empty seats behind us. After Northtown, he opens a large bag of chips (Old Dutch, I believe) and proceeds to chomp loudly on them for the rest of the ride.

2/2/10 PM

Take the 270C to the Central/University ramp. Who gets on the bus? Kinda-annoying Tony. Luckily, I keep a low profile and he doesn't see or recognize me before I get off the bus. Happy day.

1/26/10 AM

Crank bagpipes on iPod. Get a few stares. I don't care. Everyone needs a little AC/DC in the morning. Also, see a guy reading a book called 'Uncle Johns Big Bathroom Stories Book' on the bus. Seriously? Is that even appropriate?

1/25/10 PM

Early 854C home has a sub. Almost misses a turn in the neighborhood that all bus subs and new drivers get lost in. Turns off all the lights and backs the articulated bus up. I chuckle to myself.

1/13/10 PM

I laughed out loud when I got home from work. It's obvious where Sierra watches me from when I venture to the bus stop in the morning, evidenced by her opossum toy that sits on the ledge. So darn cute.

1/7/10 AM

I worked from home today, being a Thursday, so I wouldn't typically have anything to report. But, I heard from busmate Cindy that it was quite the annoying ride this morning. Because of the snowy weather, traffic ran extremely slow and the usual 854 I ride on caught up to the one that departed before it. All the people on that bus got off (including Nice Guy Escort Jonathan) and onto our usual 854. No reason was mentioned.

1/4/10 AM

The last 854C drove on the shoulder on the way *in* to downtown on 4th street. Apparently everyone drove into work today.

12/29/09 PM

Um, yeah, the significant snow over the long holiday weekend covered the little path that I shoveled at the bus stop in front of my house. Now that the snow is up to my chest level, I'm not going to bother with the path anymore this Winter. Not that it made a difference to the driver of the 2nd 854 run Northbound - I was dropped exactly at the stop, in the chest-high snowbank on a busy road in the dark. Brilliant, dude. Brilliant.

12/22/09 AM

I'm only one of 2 on the bus before getting to the Northtown hub. Usually there's at least a dozen people on before hitting the hub. It's definitely a short week.

12/18/09 PM

Driver re-assignment time - new route picks happened and began this past Monday. The early 854C home has a new driver. I'll call her SS for Savvy Shoulderist, because she can handle the long bus like nobody's business. (Bonny: Her number is 7628.) Anyway, this is the first bus driver that goes through an actual spoken routine before hitting the highway portion of the ride: "This is the 854C (Charlie) bus, Paul Parkway route. It takes the Interstate 94 route to 694 to University to Northtown. From there, we take the Paul Parkway leg. If this is not your bus, please ring the bell now."

10/16/09 AM

Give Teri, frequent 854C rider, a ride into work today, as I'm leaving right after work to head out of town. Since I'm without Sierra right now, it's easy to do so. Show Teri the lot I park in just outside of downtown (a $2.50 a day DEAL!) and how we take the short bus (the 10) into central downtown. I feel like such an experienced rider!

10/10/09 PM

(Yes, I realize this date is a Saturday. And yes, it's not technically an 854 story, but it IS a bus story.) Participate in the Minneapolis Zombie Pub Crawl with thousands of others. Get together at co-worker Barry's in North Mpls and take the 4F into downtown to start festivities. Have a fun time heckling riders on the 4F while donning our bloody costumes. Best quote from a passenger, as he's casually talking on the phone to a friend while we walk to the back of the bus, "A bunch of zombies just got on the bus."

10/9/09 PM

The one FREAKIN' day that I need to catch the early 854C to get home to meet someone for dinner? The day that the early 854C doesn't show up. Miffed, I wait another half-hour for the next one, and call my friend to apologize profusely, letting her know I'm gonna be a half-hour late at least.

9/25/09 PM

Encounter obnoxious dancing lady at the corner of 5th Street and Hennepin. Lady is definitely marching to the beat of her own drum. Not even sure if she was listening to an iPod. Regardless, Teri and I get a good chuckle.

9/25/09 AM

Take the 5:58 departing 854 again. Happy Friday! Bonny is VERY happy to see me, as she has had a less than stellar week. Mada is also on the early-early bus and is so sleepy that she almost doesn't recognize Bonny as driving. Once she does, she's just as excited as Bonny is. Catching up is done. Mada sleeps for the 'express' portion of the ride as Bonny and I yackyackyack away.

9/23/09 PM

Seriously. Between 3rd and 2nd Avenues on 5th Street. No Parking Signs between 4-6PM. EVERY SINGLE DAY there are cars parked there. This causes the busses to leave their typical bus lane and try to merge in with bumper to bumper traffic. Why do these people not receive tickets and are towed? Where is the Minneapolis Police Department? Why, they're only 2 blocks away. Ugh. *steps off her soapbox*

9/23/09 AM

Another enjoyable morning driver. From what I gathered from his chatter to the late 854 regulars, he only drives this route on Wednesday mornings. As we get into downtown, driver recaps the date, current time, current location, expected weather for the day and wishes everyone a happy hump-day. When a driver is happy, the demeanor spreads. Thank you, driver 9071, for a nice morning ride.

9/15/09 AM

Ride the early-early bus again with Bonny. She's got the route down pat.

9/14/09 AM

Ride the 5:58 departing 854. Why, do you ask, would I get up that God-awful early? Bonny's back on the 854! She chose the early route. So that she could refamiliarize herself with the 854 route, I rode with her the first day to give her a bit of guidance. People are VERY quiet on that early of a bus. Didn't stop the two of us from chatting. Bonny announces as we're getting onto 94 that she's the new driver for that route for the next 13 weeks. As people disembark downtown, one of the passengers thanks Bonny by name.

9/11/09 AM

Bus is 16 minutes late. As Captain Personality drives through the North Blaine neighborhood, he comes to one of the intersections and makes the wrong decision. The guy in front of me (one of only 3 of us on the bus so far) shakes his head and just sighs. I pipe up, "at the stop sign, if you turn right you'll get back to the bus route." No grunt, no eye contact, no thanks, no acknowledgement of any kind. We get to Northtown, still about 15 minutes behind, where there are at least 2 dozen people waiting to get on the bus. It's the biggest crowd I've ever seen there. At least half of the group is annoyed as they get on, and the driver does not greet a single one of them. Tattoo-face guy gets on at 63rd and a dialogue (if you could call it that) happens with tattoo-face guy. Apparently, he doesn't have enough to ride the Express ($3 vs. $2.25) to get downtown. TFG gets off in a huff at the next stop. TGIF.

9/4/09 AM

For the first portion of the route, I am one of 4 people on the bus until we hit Northtown. Apparently, everyone took the day before Labor Day weekend off and I didn't get the memo.

9/2/09 AM

Very enjoyable ride in the AM. Bus driver converses with everyone who gets on the bus and excitedly states each intersection. He even pulls out Bonny's 'Osbourne Road' joke ("Osbourne in Milwaukee, how about you?"). Text Bonny to let her know that he stole her joke. Lots of smiles on the bus today. Put me in a better mood, that's for sure. Wish I would have gotten his driver number, but I submitted a commendation on the metrotransit site, regardless. It's the best thing to happen to the 854 since Bonny changed routes. And of course, I know he's a sub, because of the Minnesota State Fair bus chaos right now. Bummer!

9/1/09 PM

Take the late, late 854 home after a long day of work. May be the worst use of brakes that I've EVER seen in a bus driver. Impossible to sleep because constantly getting whiplash. Completely annoyed.

9/1/09 AM

Riding along 4th Street. See a squirrel. Try to determine A) where this squirrel would possibly live, eat, etc. and B) how this squirrel has not yet managed to be squashed by a vehicle. Kudos to the squirrel.

8/21/09 PM

Took the 10 to get back to the ramp just North of downtown. Was called 'big booty mama' by a passenger. Just how does one react to that? I got into the car in the ramp and laughed my butt off.

8/21/09 AM

Park close to downtown because I'm leaving early today. Hop on the 260 for the short ride. Who's on? Kinda-annoying Tony. Oy. I don't make eye contact, but KNOW he's watching me in the back of the bus. I guess I'll think twice about the short-route bus I catch into downtown from now on when I do that option.

8/20/09 PM

My friend Jodi from Chi-town is in for the weekend. She takes the light rail up from the airport and gets to ride on the 854 home with me. Wave to Bonny (she doesn't see me) as she drives past the 5th Street stop. Brake-Happy Dood is especially brake-happy today and runs a pink (almost red) light at light speed. With an articulated bus, it's not the smoothest ride when he does that.

8/20/09 AM

North of Northtown, a legally blind lady gets on the bus with her seeing-eye dog. I ask her what his name is (of course I forgot) and talk to him in goo-goo-ga-ga talk for a good 20 seconds. Find it VERY difficult not to pet the puppy.

8/19/09 PM

Jackhole has the entire block to wait for the bus and decides instead to stand about a foot and a half in front of me. Apparently, this guy does not know the definition of personal space.

8/4/09 PM

Very packed 2nd trip 854C out of downtown. Standing room only in the back of the bus. One rude lady passenger sits in the aisle seat of her row and refuses to move over to allow a stander to sit.

8/7/09 AM

Take the last 854 into downtown. As the bus is coming from the first stop, encounters a doo-dad walking down the middle (literally MIDDLE) of the road. Bus follows behind the walking doo-dad for awhile until becomes impatient and passes her on the left, using the appropriate signaling techniques. Get picked up. Pay machine does not work. May be the most frightened looking driver ever - wide-eyed and fidgety. This doesn't give me much comfort as she's driving an artic bus. Made it downtown safely.

8/4/09 AM

First ride on the 6:50AM 854 route without Annoying Tony. Again, silently celebrate.

8/3/09 PM

Sierra has caught onto the afternoon routine now, knowing the sound of the bus as it stops in front of our house. Fun to see her raise from slumber and peeking up her head through the basement window.

7/29/09 AM

My last ride with Annoying Tony on the bus, as he's moving to Maplewood this weekend. Silently celebrate.

7/22/09 AM

Waiting at bus stop, 854 drives up and almost drives past me, until I wave my arms frantically. Slams on his brakes and I walk to the stopped bus. Driver (I think his number was 424, Bonny) apologizes profusely and admits that he was sightseeing on the OTHER side of the road as he drove past me.

7/20/09 PM

Majorly annoyed that Maple Grove has 823 stops to the 781 park & ride. Bonny drives Trip 9.

7/20/09 AM

Kinda-annoying Tony announces that he's off the rest of the week. He also breaks the news to the regulars that his last week on the bus will be the week of the 27th as he's moving to an apartment in Vadnais Heights the following weekend. I proceed to do a happy dance to myself.

7/13/09 PM

Bonny drives past on the 9th trip of the 781. Wave. Talk with the Nice Older Lady that gets on the 4:22 departing 854C as we're waiting for the bus. Take the last seat in the back on the right side. Sleep the entire way, waking twice when I realize I'm snoring.

7/13/09 AM

Take the earliest 854 into downtown. Very empty bus, however, a guy wearing 2.73 bottles of aftershave/cologne gets on and sits in the seat in front of me. Nausea sets on, shift to a different seat as I get to the Northtown hub. Much better.

6/17/09 AM

6:51 departing 854 continues to have rotating morning drivers. Seats are exceptionally slippery this AM, causing multiple people to almost fall off their seats. Light at 105th and University seems to be broken - we sit in a line of cars for 5-7 minutes, waiting for the light to change. Mada puts her makeup on while on the bus this morning, announcing beforehand that she is doing so. Regulars laugh. Bus is beyond packed today, standing room only up to the front of the bus. Passenger sitting next to Polly gets off at the last possible stop before heading on the express portion to downtown because of claustrophobia. Arrive 15 minutes late to work.

6/15/09 PM

Take the earliest C out of down because of a throbbing headache. Bonny passes me while I'm waiting at the stop on the 781, opens her door and we chat for about 10 seconds. I miss her.

6/3/09 PM

Mom of 5 Teri sits with me on the way home. Mada waves back at both of us when she gets off the bus. The Whistler is driving the 854C 2nd Trip North...he cracks me up. Find out that he doesn't have an afternoon permanent route - he's a floater sub.

6/3/09 AM

Third bus driver in three days. Find out from Bonny (we're staying connected here on Facebook) that there is no permanent driver for our route. Until one is found, we're going to be on sub duty. Today's substitute of choice - I'll call him 'Sexual Chocolate' because he was dark and delicious with glasses - was almost 10 minutes late. In transit world - that's insane. Sexual Chocolate speeds through the first few turns and gets to the Charter School Boy stop. The boys are there (not running to the stop, as usual), but unfortunately, the machine isn't printing out transfers. SC freaks out, trying to get it to work, making us more behind in the process. Eventually, he gives up and the Charter School Boys head to the back the bus. All the regulars get on the bus in the same fashion - talking about how late he is. SC makes up most of the time on the rest of the route.

6/2/09 AM

Second bus driver in two days. We'll call him Spunky Brewster. He gets to the Charter School Boy stop and all 5 kids are sprinting for the stop. One is lagging very far behind. Spunky Brewster closes the door, even though the other guys keep telling him that there's one more. Spunky answers, "It will give him motivation." I laugh out loud. Spunky almost misses 105th, slams on his brakes and says, "Just trying to keep you guys awake back there."

6/1/09 AM

Bonny's first day not on the AM 854. Very different feeling. No Crocheter Polly on today. The Charter School boys are again extremely late to the stop, but the new bus driver allows them on. New bus driver also misses rider that's on the other side of the lights at 91st (not his fault - he's running on time). Nice Guy Escort Jonathan is back on the bus today. Not sure I can deal with Kinda Cute Tony everyday without Bonny aboard (I'm going to start calling him Kinda Annoying Tony). Got a short nap in before hitting the downtown stretch.

5/29/09 PM

Realize that 'The Whistler' must have been a sub, because another driver - I'll call him 'Transmission Killer' or TK for short - has been driving the 4:52 departing bus. Heading North on University, TK weaves in and out of the lane, trying to decide if taking the construction zone blocked lane (which is clear) is better than staying in the lane of traffic. In the meantime, TK guns and brakes, guns and brakes, guns and brakes...well, you get the picture. Towards the end of the route, and realizing that there are only two people left on the bus that get off at the same stop, TK turns around and asks if he can take the shortcut to our stop. We, of course, say yes.

5/29/09 AM

Bonny's last drive South on the 854. She's moving to the 'dark side' - the 781 and 783 routes in Maple Grove. Several regulars wish her well as they get off the bus - she's made quite the impact, including a letter written in by someone recognizing her. Tony threatens a knuckle sandwich to me after not riding yesterday.

5/28/09 AM

Working from home today. Walk Sierra down to the first bus stop (3 blocks down) and greet Bonny and Polly. Bonny gives us both a ride back to my stop. Sierra enjoys the ride.

5/26/09 PM

Pass 2 pre-teen girls dancing provocatively in a front yard purposefully for the bus riders. KC Tony turns around and we exchange glances, while I mouth 'Wow.'

5/26/09 AM

Crocheter Polly is back on the bus, after being out for a few weeks with pneumonia and complications from COPD. It's nice to see her smiling face back on the bus. Full bus today, considering it's a holiday week. A car tries to take out Short-Timer Bonny towards the end of the route and she gives her some horn action.

5/21/09 PM

Come closest I've ever had to missing the afternoon bus after drinks with co-workers at the downtown Hilton. Run last block towards the stop as I see the 854C pacing me over one block. Worked out the stoplight timing perfectly.

5/21/09 AM

Nice Guy Escort Jonathan says his final goodbye to Bonny, as her last week is next week and he is on vacation.

5/14/09 AM

Rookie Bonny stops especially for a woman and her lab mix named Blue who's walking on the route. Blue walks up the stairs and gets a dog treat from Bonny and greats me as well. Nice Guy Escort Jonathan is back on the bus post-surgery. Find out that he's getting married (figures...) on Sunday. 854 regulars are not invited.

5/13/09 PM

Continue to take a later bus out of downtown. A passenger at an intersection, clearly marked as 'Buses Do Not Stop Here', flags down The Whistler. The Whistler puts the bus in park, opens his door and gets out to show the passenger the obnoxious, clear sign. Gets back on the bus, with the passenger, continuing to give him crap, which causes several of us on the bus to laugh. Curly-haired Mada gets on the bus and sits near me. We chat until the bus exits downtown.

5/13/09 AM

Rookie Bonnie and I continue to become close. Crocheter Polly still out with pneumonia, so I'm the first one on the bus each morning. Sit in the first seat and chat with Bonnie all the way into work.

5/11/09 PM

Take a later bus out of downtown. Not an articulated bus and MUCH emptier. Bus driver is hilarious. I've named him The Whistler because he randomly breaks out into whistling song. Kinda Cute Tony gets on the bus with his kid later in the route - shouts back, asking why I'm on a later bus.

5/4/09 PM

Pass an accident on University where a car hits a street sweeper. (How exactly does one do that?) Arrive at Northtown. Bus dies. No power, nothing. Bus driver gets on intercom and tells us just that and that a replacement bus is on the way. Kinda-Cute Tony walks to the back of the bus to talk to me and after about 15 minutes with no A/C, we get off the bus and wait outside. Notice extremely large puddle of hydraulic fluid underneath bus, spewing out. 50 minutes after the breakdown, the replacement bus (and the next 854C right behind it) arrives at Northtown and we are again on our way. Thank God for a beautiful day.

5/4/09 AM

Rookie Bonnie is not on the bus this AM - instead we have The Burly "Fish" (as noted by his name on his lunch bag next to him). Burly Fish is quite the kamikaze driver. Almost takes a left onto Central South (until he is corrected by another passenger). But it gets better...Burly Fish takes 7th Street instead of 4th Street (into downtown). Nice Guy Escort Jonathan tells Burly Fish that he's going the wrong way. Burly Fish swears under his breath (all I hear is dammit) and takes us on the 'scenic route' right past the new ballpark. Arrive 25 minutes later than usual to work.

5/1/09 PM

Kinda-cute Tony spots me on the bus and sits next to me for the ride home.

5/1/09 AM

Crocheter Polly's still out - hasn't been on all week. Bonnie made me sit in the first seat so that we could talk. She was especially sad today as she found out that she's going to a new route in 4 weeks - the 781 in the AM and the 783 in the PM. Found out that Nice Guy Escort's name is Jonathan.

4/29/09 AM

Found out a lot today. Fairly eventful.

Crocheter Holly was not on the bus today. When I mentioned that, Rookie Bonnie corrected me that it was Polly (with a P), not Holly.

Moved to the front of the bus (I usually sit in the middle) and talked more with Bonnie. Asked her if she did any other routes. She apparently does the 781A (Maple Grove Transit) in the evening.

Bonnie's 'shift' on the 854 ends in four weeks. They have 12-week rotations (not sure if this happens on all routes?) and at that time she is assigned to another route. They can select what they'd prefer, but they don't necessarily always get it (selections are based on tenure at MetroTransit). For her next stint, she's going to request the 854 (AM) and try for either the 781A, 854 or 852 (PM) rotation.

Curly-haired girl is identified as Mada (May-duh) today. She sits next to Kinda-Cute Tony and in front of me. Curly-haired Mada shows me a picture of her new nephew, a real cutie.

Curly-haired Mada goes to show Rookie Bonnie the nephew picture and on her way back, stumbles into Kinda-Cute Tony's lap. I joke that the bus just lost it's G-rating. Regulars laugh.

4/28/09 AM

Rookie Bonnie was 2 minutes late (and extremely flustered). Crocheter Holly did not show up, and Bonnie got distracted because of that. Curly-haired girl is back on the bus after a week of vacation. She tells Rookie Bonnie that she doesn't have pictures yet but will tomorrow.

4/22/09 AM

Rookie Bonnie slams on her breaks at Hennepin and causes a few things to become airborne. She gets on the mic, smiling, saying, "Is everyone okay? Sorry about that..." Nice Guy Escort is not on the bus today, so Kinda Cute Tony escorts Crocheter Holly off the bus and to work.

4/21/09 AM

Sierra now realizes that the big box (bus) comes from the East, and therefore runs back and forth between the patio door (where she can see it approach) to the front window (where she can see it pick me up). Smart cookie.

4/20/09 AM

Rookie Bonnie's back. Vibe on the bus goes back to 'normal' again. We all welcome her back with open arms, as it's clearly not the same without her. She encounters the University Avenue construction (that started when she was gone) and gets a bit paniced, because she has to stop in the middle of the only lane of traffic to pick up patrons. Giggle a few times at her overreaction when she has to do this.

4/16/09

Drive to lot at University and Central today so that I can leave from work immediately for WI. Catch the 270 into downtown for the AM. For the PM, catch the 10 on Nicollet to get back to the lot. Urban busses are EXTREMELY different from the suburban busses. Keep eyes forward while several kids scream in the back of the bus. Listen to one guy say, 'You're bein' a cry baby. Crybaby, crybaby, crybaby' over and over again to children. Count the minutes until I get to the University/Central parking lot.

4/13/09 AM

Rookie Bonnie is on vaca this week. Crocheter Holly was back on the bus after a few days out sick, greeted me with a wide smile and 'Good Morning' as I got on. (When the regulars start to greet you, you're officially a regular.) The Three Amigos (Crocheter Holly, Kinda Cute Tony and Holly's Nice Guy Escort - don't know name yet) were punchy today and I giggled a couple times to myself at their banter. Happy Monday...

4/10/09 PM

Did the AM drive to Northtown so that I could catch an earlier bus out of downtown. Left team gathering event at 1:31 and fast-walked 4 blocks to make the 852 leaving at 1:41. Was proud of myself that I did it in time. Between the guy singing to himself (figured out one of the songs to be 'I Can't Get Enough Of Your Love'), the compulsive guy who confirmed with the bus driver about 4 or 5 times that this bus DID go to Northtown and the screaming kids in the back of the bus, it was an interesting ride on the 852.

4/9/09 AM

Rookie Bonnie is sailing down University Ave at about 50 MPH and proceeds to almost blow off the 63rd Ave stop where five people are standing. Realizing she's missing the stop (TOO late), she slams on the breaks and stops about a block past where the bus stop was. In the process, the engine kills, Rookie Bonnie gets on the mic and says, 'Everyone okay back there?' As the five to-be passengers make the trek down to the 'new' stop, Rookie Bonnie tries to get the engine started. To the content of all passengers on the bus, after the 6th try, it turns over.

4/3/09 AM

Friday Free-Rides. The do-hickey thing that took money was broken so Rookie Bonnie gave free rides to everyone. Made for some happy people on the 854.

3/31/09 PM

Arrive at bus stop. Pellets resembling snow/sleet/hail/rain begin to pour down. Watch the 783 go past (which contains Jeff Weiner playing with his blackberry while out of the elements). I thank the lucky stars that I brought an umbrella. 854 arrives. Within seconds of getting on the bus, pellet ambush stops and sun begins to peer out from under the clouds. Figures...

3/30/09 AM

Bus has a case of the Mondays. Substitute bus driver drives in place of Rookie Bonnie. Doesn't miss a turn. Someone farts on the bus as we enter downtown. People who fart on the bus (especially so close to the end of the route) should be tarred, feathered and then shot.

3/27/09 PM

See dead, male wild turkey on the side of the road in front of Fridley Sports Arena (University between Mississippi and Osbourne). Contemplate where it could have come from, as there are no real 'wild' areas in that region. Passenger gets off bus at that stop and stands over turkey, probably wondering same thing.

3/27/09 AM

Wow. Eventful morning on the 854. Kinda-cute Tony gets on with his son. Rookie Bonnie is distracted while chatting with the two of them, completely misses the turn into North Blaine neighborhood. Misses three bus stop points. Continues on wrong road and comes up to where she would have come out in the first place. Sees black coat lady down about a block...beeps...black coat lady slow jogs to meet the bus. Rookie Bonnie blames the distraction (jokingly) on Kinda-cute Tony.

3/26/09 AM

Watch my dog (who's caught onto my routine) look out front window through blinds at me standing at bus stop. Crochet Holly isn't on the bus again this AM. Rookie bus driver identifies herself as Bonnie.

3/25/09 AM

Crochet lady is identified as Holly, who is not on the bus today. Since I'm now the first one on the bus, have a conversation that Crocheter Holly is usually having with rookie bus driver. Find out that rookie bus driver is from Wisconsin originally. Conversation causes rookie bus driver to almost miss first turn into North Blaine neighborhood.

3/23/09 PM

As I'm getting onto the bus home, realize there is a wrapped, unused red condom on the bottom step. Classy.

3/19/09 PM

Realize that the one advantage to being chubby is that you are one of the last people to get sat next to on the bus.

3/16/09 AM

Crochet lady makes St. Patty's Day-themed washcloths. Hands a finished one to blond, curly-haired girl that she converses with daily. She's appreciative.

3/13/09 AM

Rookie bus driver wishes me a happy Friday. I tell her that I'm glad I made it through week one of the new job. Conversation about new job with bus driver and crochet lady. They ask how I like riding the bus. I say, so far, so good...I like not thinking a whole lot and dealing with yahoos on the commute anymore. Rookie bus driver makes only one wrong turn today.

3/11/09 AM

Rookie bus driver takes two turns in the wrong direction. Both times, she is corrected by the passengers, turns the lights off in the bus and backs up and makes the correct turns.

3/9/09 AM

First day on the bus. Realize that the bus driver is also having her first day.